I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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