I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There r osticjed everywhere
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
