im about as happy as oj after his trial
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
