i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
