Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
