I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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