Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
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Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
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I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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