heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
