mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
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