i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
