id be glad to
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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