i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
