Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
