Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
