im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
