Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My dick has a subreddit
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize