omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
