My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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