Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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