I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
if only i could text you this smell
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
