Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
