wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
