we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
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I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
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You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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