Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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