my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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