Barsexuality is the new black.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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