Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
