Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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