Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
