just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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