He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
