Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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