I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
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casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
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I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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