drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
