I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
