U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
