You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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