its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
