It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
