Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
