I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
