why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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