I'm going to jail i love you
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
