he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
