Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
