Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
