Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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