I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
did i walk over a car last night?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
