I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
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He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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