I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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