I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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