Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
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I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
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I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize