boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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