My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
