I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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