Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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