I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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