i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver is dry heaving
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize