If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
