didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
