Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
