I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
