Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He did a backflip because drugs
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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