You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
