he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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