Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
