Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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