so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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